a single touch

of the hand

or a tap

at the shoulder

could make

this woman

look back at me.

And as for me,

only

her presence

could make

me shiver

in ways

only men

could feel.

My palms wet,

knees quiver,

my mouth dry,

my heart haunted.

If only I could steal

a bouquet of kisses

off her mouth,

I would have been

the happiest man.

If she could

only look

back at me

not because

I tapped her shoulder,

I would have lived

floating on clouds.

I would have

all the life

instead of just watching her

from the window

and suffer for

nice things

she carelessly washed

up onto the beaches

of

my soul.

the chivalries clamber you

the way they creep at gloom

to their fortress,

and still creep in the first blush.

The grisly knight, bloodstained,

bearing clues of the dead yesterday.

And you long-legged and waiting,

rigid and frigid

tied on four poles.

You open the book I read last week

and find a note with your name on it.

It says, “A nightmare best forgotten.”

You look at the slightly opened door

and peep if anyone was around.

There is a knock at the doorsteps and

I sprawl on the floor

listening to your footsteps

while you run to see who’s at the door.

It is Monday afternoon and the rain is falling hard,

rattling the leaves of the trees.

And then you see her.

She is rooted there, wet and shivering

and you pull her close.

I watch while you French kissed her

hard and needy.

You never kissed me that way

except one time you thought I was her.

And you never saw me after

that one rainy afternoon

I was hit by a car.

an enchanted cave off the seas,

where saltwater and river met.

And I lived alone in the cave

where doors and windows are one,

and the only light ablaze

was a reflection of the sun.

I dwelt amongst its murmuring walls

dark and damp and cold

like an old wine cellar.

And the only air I breathe was

the icy air, a blend of

dripping water and

a dizzying mist.

And everyday I fish,

by my cave, where saltwater and river met.

Small fish, striped fish, starfish,

jellyfish, but not that big fish

with a face so fair.

But one ordinary day

while the sun beamed at its peak,

I caught that big fish

Five feet tall.

And whining it sang with pain.

Because I caught its mouth

with a bait made of chain.

It cried and cried

until I took that big fish

in my cave.

and I made her dwell

until its mouth healed.

And I lived in the cave

with my fish so fair,

and we live happily ever after.

I marked a spot no tide could reach,

no hiker could mount,

no wind could storm;

the utmost desolate place ever explored,

under a shade.

And secretly,

I warmed it with smiles and laughter,

poured tears and anger,

swarmed hate and cursed fondness,

then pride overflowed and

flooded this one-way street.

Ten years later, I visited the place,

dragged memories from the flooded one-way street,

then I see the same spot still marked, but

drowned in pain I sniffled,

the spot still under a shade.

Bless me father for I have sinned.

I have never confessed for fourteen years

And I felt I’m the most evil friend ever lived.

I slept with my roommate’s boyfriend

And burnt her favorite red shirt.

I left her one night in the apartment

And never told her about Bamboo’s concert.

It was because I saw her and my boyfriend kissing.

And she had in her possession

My boyfriend’s hanky that was my present.

So tomorrow I’ll move out from the apartment,

After a long day at work.

I’ll give her a sharp blow on her face

So at night she could stroke.

I am hungry for a star

hanging boundless in space and

flickering flamboyantly in my sight.

I’ve been watching it from a vantage point,

Dazzling and stunning as I begin to move my head.

Was it just my eyes that outwit me?

Or the rain outside?

The stars were just stickers pressed against my window.

whose fingers I want to drift

on my lips

and hush them

when I weep.

He is my blanket

in my sleep

always

leaving my feet

cold

and wakes me

before

I can even

close my eyes.

visited

my sleep

and left

my eyes

wide with

terror.

The nightmare

was

a glass door

and a reflection

of a

demon lover

over

my

pink blanket.